# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
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