Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
