There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
