from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Randomize
