when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Randomize
