Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
