I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
