the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
