i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
