We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Randomize
