so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize