the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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