That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
