try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Randomize
