What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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