You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Randomize
