so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Vodka?
Forever.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
The struggles of a small town man whore
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
