We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Randomize
