Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Randomize
