woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
How does it feel to date your dad?
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