I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
