I like to think it a success when the cops are called
I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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