I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
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