I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
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