It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Randomize
