they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
