They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Randomize
