I am midnight drunk by noon
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
