week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
