There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
