Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Randomize
