Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize