i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Randomize
