Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
