And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
tonight lets celebrate not being married
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize
