toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize
