What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Randomize
