quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
We just shotgunned beers for America
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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