Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Randomize
