Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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