just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
