all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
