Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
