he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
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