Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
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