they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
You are the jesus of drinking
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
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