I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Randomize
