ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
I'm sobbing to NWA
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Randomize
