he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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