He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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