i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
