Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
