I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
FUCK WHALES
Randomize
