I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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