He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize