you guys were way drunker than both of me
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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