My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
