...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
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