i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
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