I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
I went to an adult Halloween party last night dressed as Mrs. Doubtfire, but I woke up on a stranger's couch surrounded by sleeping children in karate gi's. And I accidentally flushed my granny wig mid-puke, so if they wake up I'm gonna have to convince them that I'm just a weird older man and not a terrible cross dresser.
How did you come to this point in your life?
Good bartenders.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
