Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Randomize