there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize
