so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Randomize
